Archive for February, 2012

splattered dreams

Posted in Internet, news and politics on February 26, 2012 by Word-Drum

If you put a group monkeys in a room with a laptop, they could conceivably write a Shakespeare play (so the theory goes).

I hired monkeys to write for me. I thought they would sling crap better than any Super PAC. It would create a media stir, and I could finally make money from the Internet.

Mr. Chucko gets down

All I got was a mucked-up laptop and lame observations. My staff of monkeys were riffing on Santorum’s bland appearance. They said he looked like the typical dad at the zoo.

That was their frame of reference, since they used to work at the zoo. Buffo told me he was sick of being on the low end of “Show Business.” He wanted to be writer in Hollywood. He got a grant from PETA to study writing but it didn’t cover his living expenses. I hired a bunch of monkeys to blow-up my blog, but I found out that was a big mistake.

I fired the lot of them and tried unsuccessfully to get them to clean up my apartment. Mr. Chucko stuck around because he wanted to audition for my band. He overheard me talking on the phone and thought I said: “I need a chimp who can sing and play bass.” But I was saying that I need a chick bass-player, not a chimp.

Ambivalence is all I have for the Primary in my State next week. I might as well have Mr. Chucko vote for me. He knows all the candidate’s names and can tell you ten bad things about each one of them.

monkey biz

Posted in media, politics, word-drum with tags on February 7, 2012 by Word-Drum

Word-Drum is now hiring monkeys to write all future blog posts.

A position is also available for Newt Gingrich, as long as he works exclusively for Word-Drum Industries, and drops out of the race for the Republican nomination.

SUBMITT NEWT, GET RICH

We need a BIG IDEA to launch us into becoming a media conglomerate. On the other hand, THE COUNTRY DOESN’T NEED ANYMORE STINKIN’ BIG IDEAS COMING FROM WASHINGTON D.C.

small is beautiful

To work at the blog if you are a Simian-American, you must at least have a basic understanding of Republican politics…say on the level of the average TV news presenter. Your pay will not be comparable to them, but your insight will be just as valuable.

This expansion should ensure the continuance of bohemian conservatism. Since Word-Drum himself has lost his blogging muse. He loved Sarah and now likes Santorum. Neither one can win in The Land Of The Lost. The vultures will turn a decent man like Romney into a monster.

Stay tuned for more artful insight coming from not just one lone musician, but from a group of crap-slinging monkeys.