One reason to live in a small place is so you won’t have house guests. Why complicate a simple person’s life?
There has been much speculation on the whereabouts of Al Gore. For the last two weeks he has been living in my unheated kitchen. Since all the warming comes from downstairs in my room, I told him if he wants to stay, he can take it or leave it.
Al was drunk as hell when I spotted him walking down the road near my apartment. I drove by, saw him, and suddenly realized who it was. I stopped and offered him a lift since it was snowing pretty hard.
He couldn’t remember the name of his hotel and had lost his cell phone.
“Where’s the entourage?” I asked him.
He started babbling. I gathered he had a fight with Bono.
“And that bitch Streisand can kiss my ass!” he suddenly blurted out. None of this was very interesting. I hate drunks. The man was not very coherent when he was sober. And we all remember how very sober he was.
But I felt sorry for him. His hair was wet with snow. I pulled in to my place and told him to stick his head over the heater.
“What happened to Al Gore?” He asked.
He wasn’t really talking to me. Then he passed out.
The next day he was happy that no one knew where he was. He offered to pay the rent and 20,000 shares of Google stock to stay in my apartment for a while.
He asked me to drive him to Best Buy. He picked out three computers. I told him if he turned on all of them in my apartment the fuse would blow. He bought some hand-held gadget and asked me to get him a bottle of vodka while he waited in the car.
I ran into Walmart. Making conversation with the cashier, I told her Al Gore is sitting in my car in the parking lot. She didn’t believe me. She said she didn’t believe in Global Warming either. That was alright, since I wasn’t supposed to tell anybody.
He was forced to live a Spartan existence. The booze did not help keep him warm upstairs. He sat on a pad on the floor where he also slept. He did do some cooking and was it pretty good. I never mentioned Global Warming, East Anglia emails, or anything that was weighing on his mind.
I asked him about Vietnam and his early days in the Senate when he was known as somewhat of an expert on defense and military matters. I always respected that Al Gore and the one that was Vice-President and worked to cut the size of government and make it more efficient.
This guy who sat sprawled out on my kitchen floor, fat, bearded and in the middle of a bender, was like another person. He was a broken man whose fall was much farther than your average person.
Yet it was I who lived in the modest home and he who owned many mansions. Al would get through his difficulties since he could afford it. He will be loved and admired by enough people to ease his damaged ego.
I must admit that he was not an asshole. We got along well. As much as what he has been about since he left government has been disgusting, it was alright being roommates with him.
Statism through the ruse of ‘Climate Change’ is not gonna work. The Left will have to try something else. Political Correctness didn’t work either. Let’s hope they don’t start blaming The Jews for snow storms.
this month brought to you by the scam of Global Warming.